Chaitanya Cheturvedula

Sa Ri Ga

2011-05-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

Sangetham, Music is such a divine creation. Did man discover it from nature or did he invent these swaras? The question can be left to truth-seekers, I am not one. I like to listen to the voice, the sound, the rhythm, the flow of tunes. There are legends who created marvels, pieces of music that will never ever be faded from this earth. I think good music is the only common thing that is shared by every culture, religion, country.
You can call it Sa Ri Ga Ma Pa Da Ni or E F G A B C D or in fact any other way.. these notes (swaras) make music.
Enough about music, I am not writing this to give you a Music 101 lecture notes here. This is basically to let you know about a piece of creation from the genius minds of Sri Illayraja popularly known as The Mastero. He composed and orchestrated so many songs that have touched millions of hearts millions of times.. This is a bit he created or experimented with only 3 of the 7 notes 'Sa Ri Ga' Its popularly known as 3 in 1 song. Below is the lyrics that I have lifted off from some others blog (Sorry to who ever it is)..

And Here is the song

Lyrics
||pa|| raagam rasamaya vedamai

swara sanchaaramulanu cheyaga

thaanam thakadhimi thaalamai

thanuvantha pulakalu repaga

prathi swaram varam pranam

pranava subhakaram padam palikithe

sumaharam niram tharam

hrudaya laya swaram galam kalipithe

thagaraja pancharatname kaadaa

vinnavaari janma dhanyamaipodaa

||cha|| paadana theeyaga Enaadevvaruu vinanee

gaaname oopirai naalo migile kathanee

uyyaalalooge kanupaapalo kalani

naa paatathone jatha kalipi adanee

sarigamale vaati varamai

naluguriki naada swaramai

bhaavam-raagam-thaalam

aalaapinche geetham

eduru nilichi sogasu chiliki

manasunu gelavani

It is Permanent !!

2010-11-15T23:10:00.001-08:00

I am the breeze that touches your hair

I am the wind that moves the metal rooster

I am the raindrop that musks dead dry sand

I am the hurricane that moves a city land

I am the morning shine that clears fog ahead

I am the scorching heat that cracks lakebed

I am the flower-bud that makes you smile wide

I am the pollen that irritates you to red-eyed

I am the snow flake to fall and kiss your lips

I am the hail-storm to drown you to your hips

I am the one that you want and don't want

I am the change that you await everyday

Either to seek me or need me to go away..

Words popped into my head because I could not sleep !! Apologize if theres a mistake, forgive me if it has no meaning!

_ Chaitanya

Lifelong Friends..

2010-08-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

Today is the first Sunday of August 2010, Friendship day! Let me start with a dialogue from the movie The Patriot - I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear.

The reason I state that is because my sins always returned but the cost was many times shared. Shared with those unknown and unfamiliar people whom I later called Friends. Names change, places change and the common element is me and friends. If Life is a full laid plan, and things are meant to happen, people are meant to change or move or whatever, then there are some people who are meant to stay!

What if it is not a full laid plan.. What if everything is interconnected, what if everything is... Random. Where ever you go you make new ones, being grateful for the people who turned into friends and helped you along the way is one way to subside the randomness. I should confess, I am such a kind. I am one of those people you could think of "I know him, he is just an acquaintance" or "I know him, he was my friend; Now we are not in touch so much".

But you should also know that, many times you made my day, and sometimes into my dreams, just made me laugh and sometimes shared secrets. Turning yourself into friends, into beautiful memories.. these continue to be in my Chapters of life!!

Today may be a day where you can post a stunning quote on Facebook or send an email with a lot of pictures of cute puppies to many contacts in you email. May be a day where you just call a few close friends to wish them or video your self on youtube and post it to the world. You may choose a hundred ways to express 'happy friendship day'. I choose to remember all of my friends all my life.. No matter what or where you are, you are in some parts of my life.. you are forever a friend.. Though I may not be in touch with you, today I think of you.. just like many other days before and many other days coming ahead... After all one day to remember a friend is just not enough...

Happy Friendship Day!! Just for the sake of it!!

Leader!

2010-04-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

This could be the first time ever I am writing (blogging) about a Movie. For those who don't know me, I watch a lot of movies. Its not for passing time but my brain, which always dream in imaginations, movies are like tea and snacks. I have liked and appreciated so many movies and to name them, it is quite a long list. However this particular movie 'Leader', a telugu movie directed my a 'realistic' director Shekar Kammula is very refreshing to the routine idea of a movie with political drama. He had directed other movies like Anand, Godavari which I liked the direction part but it is again another common romantic film. Another popular movie Happy Days, on the other hand was not such a great movie that falls in his bag of chips.

The direction, is a typical Shekar Kammula's own style, but it had a pinch of something unexplainable that is just captivating. Acting wise, Rana has a fresh touch to Telugu film industry, a remarkable first film choice. I am not expecting much, as of now, from him. I hope he grows into this industry making wise choices. I went through his blog and noticed that he could be a different actor, finally, after all the stereotypes. He is a fan or may be a devotee of Kamal, who of course defined 'Acting' in Indian film industry. I only look forward, for him to perform in different roles and not becoming another Babu..

The script is carefully made, but it did lack the romantic element. I, personally would have preferred either more romance (if required) or nothing at all. The political aspect seemed to be a little too daring (liked) but could be so fictional too. The last few turn of events was quite expected, but was showed in a way like in Mani's Yuva. I did not like the way Arjun(Rana) would go on to become a CM the second time, but the film also showed a little of the hard work behind the success.

Over all a bold movie, I could say, refreshing faces (including Richa and Priya) to Telugu films and industry. Decent music, though not so great, for an upcoming music director. Well thats all for now... I wish him good luck and only hope he makes wise choices in selecting films..

Save me !!

2010-03-08T18:58:00.000-08:00

"I am here in this dark room with a single small window, so high above me.. I can not reach it.. But I try.. They left me here all alone and I am scared.. I am scared that I will be here forever... its been long.. so long that the windows were warm and cold for many times... I tried hard to get out.. I need help but help does not come... I shout in vain and in pain I cry... I am now tired.. tired of being here all alone... save me!!"

What does this sound like? Does that sound like a person trapped for death in a dungeon?? or

Does that sound like some woman's cry for help in a country like India?? Why does the media show the status of women something like that?? Why do people think women in India are not given equal status?? Is that true or is that a hype?? In a country, where the President is a Woman, why would this cry be heard.....why??

Woman's day!! A day dedicated for women (by whom? I don't know!) It makes me feel sorry, because it is a fight for a girl in a society like India. A fight to live a decent life, to go through a normal day, with out some eyebrows rising and some ears biting... The Great Old man once told India will have its freedom when a woman can walk on a lonely street all alone safe and sound... Is he true?? Are Indian men so bad?? Is it the culture thats not changing?? Why should the culture change?? We were one of the greatest lands a white man has ever explored!!

Let us narrow down to something simple now.. what does each gender want from the other??

Lets start with Men.. Indian men.. An average Indian Man wants - a Mother who feeds him, a wife who gives him (everything from respect to sex), a daughter(or sister) who adores him (and follows his rules). He just can not imagine an average Indian woman to be in any other role.

Indian Woman on the other hand, NEED many more things than what an average Man can give.. freedom when she wants to do something out of ordinary, support when things go wrong, respect when they go right, solace when sad, understanding when confused, a heart when in love, your ears when speaking(a lot), safety under street lights, sunshades under day light, and the list can go on....

But you know what, one thing Indian men won't and can't accept is that they take serious advice from their wife, and when she is right.... Men please wake up.. think beyond a mother, wife, sister or a daughter... think a friend.. a human being... Give her what she needs, its not a big deal to get up (unless you are cripple) and offer your seat to a lady (pretty or not it does not matter)

And women, please don't complain about reservations, they don't give you what you need. At the same time you do not need to compete with men.. just work with men.. thats good enough... It is a known fact that a woman's enemy is always a woman.. so cut that crap of jealousy... I know There are far more serious issues with women in India, from fetus killing to child molestation to forced prostitution... Though it is heart breaking to listen to such tragedies, a country's development does not depend on those numbers going down, the countries development depends on you walking out and fighting for what you want to become... Please continue to fight...something that you are good at..

If you don't know, let me tell you it is not as easy as you may think to a man either... but of course it is a lesser fight than yours. Ladies, Sometimes you have pay for your virtues. Women, a complicated mind in a sophisticated body, with many tangential morals.

"And one fine day, a prince came to the the window, I shouted to save me, he said 'The door is not locked why in the hell you were shouting out for help' "

Faith and Disbelief!!

2010-02-13T18:01:00.000-08:00

I recently bumped into this video below, where Richard Dawkins, a prominent Atheist who does not believe in God, Religion or should I say who believes in Science and Evolution. Here are my points of view which may be a few!!

I think that what you believe defines you in a very prominent way as to how you live or intend to live your life. I, as many Indians, grew up in a religious home praying to several Gods of the Hindu religion. I still believe in all Mythical Figures and Holy Vedas, not for debating my own questionnaire, just because I am not intending to find answers to them. It would be so much more harder for this particular Professor to question or discard the presence of God because the theory of creation is explained in a Scientific manner in Hindu religion (which is one of the oldest religions) unlike other religions where it is either created in 6 days or chose to ignore the question itself. The Big Bang Theory would be the closest to the theory of creation like in Hindu's theory of the Sound of 'Om'.

When simplistic minds of human (like mine) cannot understand the concept of life through the millions of decades of years (a lot of time) in other words the theory of evolution by natural (sometimes random) selection, we seek simple answers. Answers that does not falsify the truth of 'the matter' yet satisfy the quench of human minds for knowledge. Keeping that in mind, the brilliant yet humble creators of Scriptures in Hindu religion made stories and myths that is hard to contradict on the basis of irrational or illogical.

However, there are many stories that simply cannot be logical. Some may ask about the Gods we pray having a head of a elephant or a monkey. But the theory of evolution could not explain the shape of our ancestors. Hanuman is a perfect example to support the difficulty of imagination in science (everything needs evidence) where a story has been used to explain how the most powerful being on earth has been seen and how a normal monkey 'evolute' into Hanuman. The ten avatars (Dasavatars) clearly explains the theory of evolution with out the basis of modern day scientists yet not contradicting it either. Kalki may not be a God as such but a modern man who rose to power (conquer all evil on a horse). Incidentally (or a natural selection) the stone age man used powerful horses as their mode of transportation.

The Hindu God (a few thousands) are the basis of faith to create moral and ethical deeds in human force in India. A powerful tool of all is faith in something superior to yourself but at the same time many Hindus believe in 'AhamBrahmosmi'- meaning I am Brahma (the creator) keeping it so simple for the science. For some to experience God or the feel of God may just be a chemical imbalance or an illusion but for some its a faith to push ourselves to be humble and for some a series of coincidences.

The cultural aspect of a religion is completely different form the question of presence of God. Though I disagree to the world creation in 6 days according Genesis of the Holy Bible, I tend to agree on a higher power. I believe in Hinduism as a religion that considerably answers many of my questions yet keeps my in a quest for more knowledge and doubt. That could be why I do not intend to seek answers but believe rather than regretting to disbelief.

PS: No offense to any other religion, I respect every religion.

This is rubbish???

2010-01-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

"This is A RUBBISH video, Indian Culture is not about film stars and so called babes"

"phir mile sur a national shame..."

"Not like the old one.OLD IS GOLD"

"a racist oriented video....totally ignored the north eastern states...."

"This version is absolutely fake."

"new mile sur is highly disappointing..."

Above are some of the comments from the public for the recently made "New Mile Sur mera thumara" video which was released on the Republic day January 26th 2010.

While I agree with some of the comments I beg to differ on others. But the fact is that it is sad that many of us could only notice the popular Indian actors and some of us could notice a few musicians. The video is not about them.. it is about the diversity each actor brings in to work together. It is about cultural difference we have yet sining one tune. Did you even know the boxer from the far east state of Manipur? I searched her up only after watching this video. She is MC Marykom, the prospectus lightweight women boxing champ. The Sarod player Amjad Ali Khan, the Santoor Pandit Sharma or the violin legend Dr.L. Subramanium, do we even know about them? Sobhana is as graceful as she can be in the dance, KJ Yesudas pleasantness in his voice and Sonu Nigams charm in his. All this is diversity in a culturally different society. It stings a bit for not including major cricket stars or Industrialists, but I could compromise on that as it is brings light on other sports we pushed into closet like boxing, football and badminton. It is also true that even the older version had majority of casting from the movie Industry. But does a 17 min video define India or its spirit to be ONE SUR?

A country of more than one Billion people and if you count on each and everyone's ordinary life, it is inspirational. From the Mumbaikar who travels in the jam packed crowded train to work as a accounts manager in some corporate bank to the farmer in the Telengana region depending on monsoon showers; From the Auto Driver in Madras railway station to the Call center employee working all night in Bengaluru; Fishermen from Kerala and Goa to street football players in Kolkata; Taxi drivers in New Delhi, working household women in Udaipur, Tea plucker in Assam, Steel factory employee in Jamshedpur, Holy yogi in the Haridwar and Varanasi, cattle farmer in Bihar and countless other stories. In which place in the world can you see two families with completely different religious beliefs live side by side and share special dishes they make for their festivals. As someone said, A life time is not enough to learn about one Indian culture!! So be proud to be an Indian..

By the way the Bollywood you say rubbish, makes the highest number of movies in the entire entertainment industry in world. Tough I hate the typical Bollywood movie making and story styles, it is life line to a millions of people working in the industry and entertainment to close to a billion people around the world!!

Born to be...

2010-01-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

Rain has finally receded to make my plans work for the last weekend (23rd and 24th Jan 2010). Destination Sea World. It was fun watching dolphins and killer whales, sea lions and walrus and their acts and shows. A couple of fun rides and lots of seagulls. It was hard to have lunch with seagulls gawking for my fries..nevertheless it was a fine Saturday... One the way back I was thinking to my self what to do the next day (Sunday) which was a special day to my mom as I was born that day abt 27 years ago. I would say special to me mom because she was the one who borne me for months and brought me to this world. To me it is another day to be thankful. So I thought for a long time looked online to go out to any place to get a good pictures..may be zoo or park or the light house....

So the next day I got up around 8AM with my phone ringing in a hotel room in San Diego. One of my friends wished me and then around me I see my laptop, my camera, a TV and remote and rental car keys. I switched on the TV and watched a complete replay of Australian open 4th round match Roddick vs Gonzales, then continued to watch NFL Live football game Colts vs Jets and by the end, it was already 3 PM..

I took a nice shower and by 4.30 PM was on the road with no plans to go by moving west for the beach to get to the sunset. I watch the sun go down while driving along the coast (couldn't get a parking spot) and then stopped to get some nice snaps. Then I went to a temple to be thankful to a power beyond my understanding. Had a decent Peserattu in Madras Cafe for dinner and retiring myself back to the hotel room and slept early watching some random episode of CSI or criminal minds.

Everyone is born for a reason, to be someone someday or may be not. Just like this photo there is a sunset and then there is a sunrise. The matters of the day is the business of living, sometime a purpose for the next day. I guess the whole day I kept hearing that I may have been born to be me.. a calm yet an adventurous person. This day has given me a chance to relish myself, relive a life long forgotten. Many at times I let myself out of my way to be someone else. But I guess I am born to be myself.. what is it.. a loner?? I am confused now!!

Photograph...

2009-12-30T17:31:00.000-08:00

Pic, picture, foto, photo, photograph, art, click, what ever you call it...its beautiful. Encapsulating a beautiful moment of life that runs away as time flies by is one of the best things man has ever invented. Mountains and seas, oceans and beaches, trees and bees, light and dark, animals and birds, underwater and inside caves, man-made or nature....you name it, a click is all it takes.

However, I find that one of the most challenging things to do is to capture true emotions on a photograph. Smile, as you may see in most photos is mostly faked!! Tears are almost never clicked; Fear, anger, disgust, depression, solace, peace, doubt, joy, shy, excitement etc etc.. these are hard to capture (apart from models, actors, public figures who mostly fake).. it is very rarely clicked with in a group of friends or family. Happy occasions are the ones we click and keep them forever to remind ourselves of our joyful moments in times of sadness.

The best pictures are always clicked when you don't pose for it... Well... smiles are always good, fake or real.. they can cheer you during nostalgic moments.

I hope to get a new DSLR for the new year and I am going to take all kinds of pictures but I am going to take up the challenge to take as many true expressions as possible. Friends please do not hate me if I click when you are crying.[:p]..and I am already dedicating my first good 100 photographs to my Family!!

1-2-3-Say Cheeeeeeezzzzzeeeee! Well thats the worst line ever.. Just Click as you go.... be free!!

The Men vs A God!!

2009-11-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

The title and the timing would give you clues that I am talking about 'The God of Cricket' Sachin Tendulkar. A terrific innings of a hundred and seventy five runs under peak pressure of winning and getting close to winning the series. He was awarded the Man of the Match for this knock, while I think he should have a special award incomparable with human achievements in the world of Cricket! During his award winning speech Sachin told that he was 'disappointed' despite a great batting show he put on the field. His tone concurs his mood of unable to bring India to victory and I am sure in his mind, best knocks of his life would still be the twin centuries scored against Australia in Sharjah '97-'98. There is no question 10 years later he is not only better batsmen he has become 'The Best' India could ever imagine. And thats when we lose..

India for long depended on 'one man to win' theory and tried and will continue this trend. We need a HERO, always. I know India has travelled a long distance to be a team rather than a few players and fewer Gods. On the top of my head I could name a few greats.. Gavaskar, Srikanth, Kapil, Srinath, Sidhu, Dravid, Ganguly and above all and many more is Sachin. While Australia has a few great players (out of the ordinary) their ordinary players would hit 90's and make centuries on a foreign turf. Is the standard of cricket that is poor in India or is it because we still look up for One Heroic innings every time we watch match? I may not be following the series very well but one thing that India lacks is consistency in all three areas. While we had 12 or more misfields and gave away atleast 20 runs, Australia has saved and making run outs by falling and scraping knees and those few crucial runs which gave them an extreme advantage. While one of the well experienced bowlers is giving away runs like a high school amateur, Australian new-bee on his debut match picked up 3 wickets including Sachin's while giving away just 59 runs. To me he is the man. A 25 year old making a hundred and another making 90+ runs for their first wicket partnership while maintaining a 100+ strike rate at all time. They are no Gods just mere men who pulled Australia to their victory. Yes it is their win. It was not bad luck that India lost this match, it was one God who pulled so close to victory and the rest (mostly) failing to move a few more inches to win. Most of the statistics prove that Indian players lack consistency, a sine wave is not the way to play cricket it is only good for your heart! A players performance I believe should be an exponential or a almost straight line...

Some of you may think I am writing this because India lost this close match. While I may not deny that, I wanted to write this to remind that A God we worship in Indian Cricket could not win this match alone. We need MEN to fight our wars!

Nobel Obama !!

2009-10-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

I am not going to complain about awarding of Nobel Peace Prize to Obama. So if you are looking to read for some jokes or stupid schedules of Mr.Obama look somewhere else...

A Nobel Prize is awarded for achievements in Chemistry, Physics, Medicine, Literature and Economics. I am not including Peace prize in this category because it was not meant to be looked as an achievement by some group or person. No single person can change the world-- Mahatma was not one person, he was a voice of all the Indians who could not speak for their freedom, a motivator to lead a path of non-violence, an action of courage to stand up to fight against the then ruling government, for freedom. I feel he should have been awarded and I think he was honored by not awarding a Peace prize as 'there was no suitable living candidate' in 1948.

It is not my intention to compare Obama to Gandhi here, but since there are Facebook messages saying the Nobel prize has become a JOKE because Gandhi was not awarded but Obama was awarded and so on.. I am trying to bring some perspective here. September was when the invitations to nominate were sent out by the Nobel committee to a qualified group for listing deserving candidates. Mr.Obama was one of the 205 candidates nominated. He may have been a Senator Obama or a President Obama depending on when he was nominated. Was he deserving a nomination in the first place? Did he do something extraordinary? or in typical words Did he ACHIEVE something?? He was courage to stand up to run for Office despite of his race and the perceived interest in black community. The words 'Yes we can!' resounded in the entire world, a motivation to change the way it is. He was only campaigning for the office. And it paid off, may be because everyone were so fed up with the unpopularity of Bush and his mishaps or may be because of a HOPE, Obama was proposing to the Americans across the nation. He won, despite being Black, and granted US her first Black president.

Lets move to his office as President Obama and his job and responsibilities. Look at this article about his first 12 days schedule if you are so interested. I don't know what is the point of these 12 days. This time gap between Obama taking oath to his office and the last day to submit the invitation may not have any correlation on why he was awarded Peace prize. He may not have been judged for these 12 days people. He may not have been nominated after he became President Obama.

During his office, President Obama did something an American president would not dare to do (at least post 9/11). He outreached to the Muslim world to speak the words of apology and addressing the crowd 'As-Salam-Alaykum' meaning 'let Peace be upon you', won over a majority of the US hating crowd. There are still Anti-US groups who thinks peace is a joke to their land and who thinks US is the cause of all violence in the middle-east. Wouldn't you call this an effort to bring peace upon nations? A call to stop terrorism was very much required and he gave it to the world. Brought back standing army troops from Iraq slowly bringing stability to the cities with in. However as many would agree, Is that all you need to do to WIN the Peace Prize? Pardon me it is not a WIN, Nobel peace prize is Awarded.

With US in such a miserable state of recession, conservatives and Republicans behind his back picking, and major industries begging for financial support, health care imbalanced and many more in the first few months he addressed a few or may be none of these issues but made a point to talk to Muslim world. Friends, what I am trying to say is that a Nobel Peace prize is just not awarded when you do or achieve extra ordinary results. It is a motivation to keep working in the same way to bring peace between nations, between Religions; an understanding between cultures. However I do not think Nobel prize has become a joke. It is given to a deserved candidate for his work towards peace, unity and togetherness. If parties and speeches could bring Nobel prize, hollywood would be better place for many good looking candidates. As Obama himself was surprised and humbled, he told that this award is a reminder for his responsibility; It is "A CALL FOR ACTION" and thats the word...

A note from an interview from a website...

I think most of them are for something very concrete, more of a Camp David-like peace accord, when you know, Begin and Sadat won, for example. That would be classic. Other time, organizations like UNICEF wins. One year, the Quakers won. So it really depends on the year.

But I think Obama's is unusual in how young he is. He's a 48-year-old man. And I thought about it some today, and I think you have to really think about it more in the terms of Martin Luther King. He won a Nobel Peace Prize at 35 years old, right in 1964, before the historic Civil Rights legislation of '65. And King was at that point 35. He had his whole career ahead of him. So it was kind of an award to encourage King to continue fighting for Civil Rights.

And I think Barack Obama's is to encourage him pushing, particularly as the Nobel committee mentioned, to abolish classifications of nuclear weapons and to continue the Cairo speech, where he's seeming to put an olive branch out between Christians and Israel and the Muslim world.

A beautiful sight..

2009-09-22T10:15:00.001-07:00

Sunday late evening, I had no work and had a boring long day, all alone at home watching Conan O'Brien mouthing some odd jokes, that made me give an expression of "what fool am I watching this show?". At last I reached my limit of tolerance and grabbed my trousers and went out. No where to go, I walked to my Friends place just in the same apartment complex. Lucky I was, they were planning to go watch a movie. We all decided on 'The Informant' and headed out in a car to the cine complex which is also a shopping spot called Tempe market place.

As soon as I got down from the car, I saw two planes landing at the Phoenix airport at the same time on different runways, just a few 1000 feet away. My eyes just kept following the planes like a small kid who sees these artificial birds his first time. I just kept glancing west observing the tail and wings of this invention and there was this sight, a beautiful creation, better than any man made wonder, seems heavenly. How ever I describe it, consider that it is a thousand times beautiful.

An empty sky covered this ground as far as I can see, mixed with colors that can be described by emotions. Like a dull red fire somewhere far off, giving colors of saffron and mixture of deep blue, just turning the other side to black coal. As the light fades away, there rises a white angel in shape unknown to human eye. Such beautiful, marvelous wonder, kept me looking, caught me stranded in the middle of a parking lot. The rare mixture of colors in the sky made the beauty to bring out a wonder. Bent and curved like bow of a divine nature, made me wonder how could anyone miss this sight... It made my mind wander to compare if it can be, collecting memories from deep in my brain matter. All possible combinations could not match up with this sight, just an amazing view.

Then there is a shower of a couple stars falling down to earth like a balls of fire. Making this a spectacular scenery. I searched for one full day to come up with a right lines I hope it makes sense...

"There was another sign in the Heaven, and behold a great red dragon...And his tail draweth a third part of the stars in Heaven.-----The Relevation of St John the Divine, 12.14"

How could I ever forget this sight of a white curved line, the sight of this heavenly body, that of the earths orbital object, that which just reflects, The New Moon on the 3rd day, on the auspicious day of Ramzaan...

Old is still Gold??

2009-09-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Why are people afraid to change or of change? A change that may bring better things to surface, may help many more people than now, may become a good lesson for the future generations. Make mistakes learn from them and CHANGE...I made mistakes, many mistakes... I don't regret thinking I wish I had not made such a stupid mistake. We learn and we move on...But there are some things that don’t change. You and your inside do not change. Your attitude changes, your perspective changes but not you. How ever we are not talking about the unchangeable in this one.

Recently I came across a feud or should I say 'constructive criticism' between ‘a group’ and ‘an individual’. Frankly speaking I supported the individual but not with zero knowledge or involvement with the group. I have known the group for a few years; I vaguely have an idea of what the group is capable of and what it does. I have seen them do and perform the same things for three years. Presidents changed, projects changed, time changed, group’s quantity and quality changed. But why none of this changed the method or medium the group works. It is the same objective, to raise funds for an NGO back in home land to support projects that are meant to do something to the needy. The method is the same: ‘A day with India’, ‘World of Dances’, ‘A table in International food festival’ and recently a ‘Cricket tournament’ (may be the only change). The events with in the event bare no changes either. It’s high time that there was a change in the method and quality. As the individual says portraying India in its deepest and darkest situation is not correct for the sole reason that is insulting the country. Look at US take pride even when begging. Has around 4 trillion dollars debt around the world. What money can people living in US give to solve India’s problems? India is a strange yet a marvelous country. In a couple years India will have some the Worlds richest men and at the poorest men possible in the same city.

Now, when I speak for the group, in their defense, the objective given to them is to raise as much funds as possible for a project that an NGO has taken up in India. So I hope they are doing to the best of their abilities, with existing time and academic constraints. I really appreciate their efforts personally. I do think this group has been trying to bring change in many lives and give hope to others who knows of this movement. However this is not enough. We as responsible citizens of a country should take up responsible jobs and not just work here to raise money or donate to the group. This is what I should say but I am not eligible to speak that way since I am not doing it. But instead I would at least want to understand the root cause and try to eliminate it. As the individual said “You have to be the change and also be the medium, ‘modus operandi’ for its induction!”

We are still afraid to change the old methods, the old constitution, the old political parties, the old politicians and the old systems and many more. Instead we are changing the one which we respect the old culture, old heritage, ole people and the old words of wisdom…. So I ask is Old still Gold??

Turtle Ways

2009-09-02T14:09:00.001-07:00

A violent wave hurl up, washing new born turtles

Welcoming into wicked world, warm waters but cold

Saving from six legged shells but safe they are not

Hatched with an armored back, hard enough it is not

One remains a thousand births, but still carries a ton

Flapping along with fins, nothing on limbs to hold on

What miserable life it goes through, a misery untold

On the verge when sea meets sand, a fate decided

What’s less evil, eternal pain or a quick mercy death

Yet fights hard for life, unknown to their tiny minds

Is it nature or nurture, after all, His tyranny found

Water and earth, foes and food, till nut-shell turns

Into hard rock, still wavering of desires that runs

These turtle ways, are tough yet slow adventure

Living for ages that only mean a burden, a grief

For lost siblings and deep guilt for this selfish life

Mother to thousands more but mothering none

Mourning to memories of embryos born, unborn

A cruel labor serves as a mere prey, saves one

Of many, to begin a journey, an essential scorn

Of turtle ways, these sad, silent yet heavy marvels

The Other side of Fear!!

2009-06-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

Fear...as we all know is a word that does not describe strength, courage or honor. What are we afraid of? We could be afraid of something or someone, from Water to Daddy or something tangible. We could be scared of certain intangible substances like heights, ghosts and sometimes God.

Fear of failure is something that makes you weak, lost, confused, frustrated about yourself and can not show any one what it could be. Neither are we humble enough to accept that you are scared about times that are hard and tough to make any move. Making any plan or taking any decision is hard because of many possible factors that make you confused about now and future. Fear does not want you to lose a comfortable position that you are in now.

However, something makes anew of all the old, like a Phoenix coming out of ashes, you will be reborn. Like throwing up after a few drinks, which you were afraid you would do, it is the Courage to move on that has made the mind up. Courage does not come with the absence of fear, it only comes when you are afraid but cornered to make a decision. It makes you look at fear from a different perspective, from the Other side. "Fear--Something that keeps you awake, makes you to fight, keeps you hungry and gives courage to win---all it needs is CONTROL"

Sometimes we choose, but most times we can't. But we create that opportunity so that we would have more than one choice left. Many times we decide to do either Right or Wrong, between justice and crime. But most times we have to decide either to do the Right thing or keep ourselves Happy. We tend to keep ourselves happy, but the human inside ends up doing the Right thing. Its the Fear of humanity...

The first apple tree

2009-02-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

Inside, dark and humid, soil smells of blood
deserted but dense, black fog, smokey logs

alone I walk through the woods to bright corona
feel its near, miles away, darkness prolong tall and large

feet sticky with black dirt, knees tremble, hips bent
only to feel fingers on land, eyes hunting in weakness

skin pale and cold, dry and cracked mouth pass
venomous air, heart pounds harder every step ahead

hope is what left, right I see the first apple tree
green and glowing, such a gorgeous odd

strength unknown hits hard, to grab such
beautiful red fruit, easy to get hold 'smell'

still admiring, color and quality lucrative it is
waters my mouth, burns cracked lips, wait to taste

"don't eat it" told a voice far from long inside
a question "why?" resonates, shivers all around

"the forest, its the forest" replied frightened voice
never let it pass through me, I bite the fruit of glory

closed my eyes tried to captivate flavor of red color
skin thin, rich flesh, its appeal dominate the intellect

it's bitter yet flavored juices flow through dry throat
like Hercules and blissful apple, no clue otherwise

I turn blue, slowing my heart, throat choking
eyes blinding to pull me down more and more

A wild, poisoned fruit, a false fascination
deceptive plant, too late, choice made, I regret

courage to fight, desire to stand and walk to light
reached the end, out from darkness, still weak and lost

a lovely farm I see, lush green and calm, an apple orchard
wonder what kind, lost my last breath kneel to fall ground

men round my left overs, making sounds of pity and grace
face no surprises, I knew 'am not the first one not the first......

A hero for your life....

2008-11-25T17:29:00.000-08:00

After a long time, I do have some time and my mood is right to write :-)

I thought to write of some general topics, but got bored of reading them a lot, some technical ones.. no waaaayyyy...

Every person sees someone and thinks why can't I be like him/her. I am going to use 'him' for a generic purpose here on, just for convince. So, I used think about some hero in a movie and think why can't I be like him. Or some epics I used to listen from my grandma; It did not make sense before but moving on in life it does make sense now. Let me explain, I did want my self to be like many people, Hero, artists, characters, players, famous people, and even politicians. Some were inspirational and some were just for the kind of power they have, and a few because I used to think I could do a better job than they did or were doing.

But one person just sticks to you and never leaves your mind. You always think about him and think what good he did and think what he could do better. Try to follow him and try to act like him and even sometimes try thinking like him. That person, in my view is the HERO of your life. He can actually do many things that many of your 'wannabe' persons do individually. He just does not show off much about them. You learn him in and out and try to focus on things he could not learn himself and you try to learn. It is a fierce competition to outcast HIM your HERO, to overtake him in always. It is a constant fight. You sometimes feel that You lost the race because he is a HERO and you are just a man. But you never give up, you keep fighting. You try to see him at least once everyday and try taking to him (his picture, or himself).

But you know you have your ego, that always prevents you to do what he would have done in a particular situation. You think 'what would he do?', but you would try something different, thinking that it yields better results. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you don't, but the most weird and awkward thing is that you never see HIM, 'your hero' ,win over you. Even if he wins he wont celebrate, because YOU celebrate when he wins.

Did you ever think why, not because he is your Hero, but because of YOU..You are YOUR Hero...
I believe it. Yes we are our hero, A hero for our life...

A hero who can change you is inside you. My friend rightly said "The mighty rules!! Why not become one and change rules?" The insider is there somewhere wanting to change, to help you become mighty. I wish I can change and win over my hero, wining over myself is the biggest challenge I face.

2008-09-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

This is one of the numbers by Aerosmith: Dream ON....
One of my favorite songs...

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isnt that the way
Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybodys sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know its true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on...

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Self esteem...what is it??

2008-09-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

One book I was reading says that "Self esteem is what you feel good about yourself" well it may be right but I think its more than that. Its not just about 'feel good' factor. Its about whats right and still feeling good about it. Most of us feel good about ourselves in truimph times.. but seeing the light in the darkness and feeling good about such success is at a different level. So, what is self esteem?

Self respect and self esteem does have similar meaning, but I still need to find the difference. However I think there is a minor difference I have experienced. High self respect sometimes is perceived as 'Ego' or 'Showing Attitude' by others. But Self-esteem is never perceived that way. I might be wrong here, but I think there is a point.

Another book describes that High Selfesteem leads to positive attitude, Success, etc etc. It also makes you able to take criticism the right way and also give criticism tactfully. Sometimes talking out and some times being quite delivers the message.

How does one unleash their self esteem? Making a mark for themselves is the main point. where do you stop, where not to, and where is the limit, can you cross it?? All these questions bind no rules. It is upto each individual to decide that.

Self-esteem is self concpet too. Knowing about your self before you start to feel good.

A farmer growing watermelons, wantedly puts a small wooden box around one of the melons. What happens? At harvest, every melon grows to its extent, except for this one which comes out to be a small cube shaped melon. Just like that wooden Box, Self-concept is the boundary you put yourself in. A shape in which you think is good for you, but you never know.

Some other attributes of people with self esteem are the ability to take risks, sensitve to others needs, being able to take before giving back criticism, constructive behavior, good relations with every one, etc etc. I know its boring you, but I wanted to write it. I dont know about my own self esteem yet.. but as told before no rules should bind you to explore your self. Follow your heart, Read your mind, listen to the tone and see with in. Enjoy..

The train of cans...

2008-06-26T05:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever played with empty cans.. I did..made a train and dragged it around for a long time..
I did not knew what my Mom meant when she asked me to stop doing such acts..I thought she was irritated by the rankling sound of empty cans hitting each other and the all that noise.. now I understand what she meant..or may be understood a deeper meaning in her words..
you make it with your own hands..you want your train to look as good as possible..so you clean the cans.. mend all bends and dents..shine every can if possible. You will love it.. when you start putting them together you see how cool they look..then you will love to play with it..get the engine end which you assume to be the best end and start pulling around you.

You will play all the way.. in the hall, living room, bed room, kitchen, playground outside..even in neighbors house.. you are living in the best of you times.. you like all that noise that those cans make behind you and you laugh when others get irritated about those cans and sound.. you don't care about any thing...you feel you are the king of the world.. and no one can stop you.. but....seldom you know that you will get tired very soon.. you will be hungry.. but still you don't want to leave them..so you finally tie it around your waist and you feel good that they are always behind you..

After a while you will start feeling tired and hungry.. and finally you will go to your mom..she tries to take the train off your waist..you don't want her to take it off.. you wont let her take it off.. you dad would try his turn..but no one can take it off you... at the end of the day.. you want to sleep you feel tired and you don't know whats going on..because you hear this noise when ever you try to take a step.. the same noise that you loved will sound irritating now.. you now want to hear your mom singing you a lullaby to sleep..your mom is all there and you want to move to her .. reach her arms.. you take one step and you stop because the cans are noisy and disturbing the pleasantness and calmness.. you try again.. it repeats.. it goes on.. then finally your mom comes to you.. she says "My lil angel.. take this train off your waist..the cans..they wont go any where.. trust me and sleep like a good baby.. tomorrow morning you can play with it again..I will keep them safe and hide them from everyone else.." that is when you see the kindness and love in your moms eyes and let go the train of cans.. go to your mom and sleep like a baby hearing to the lullaby..

to me now.. the train of cans can be seen as a your respective past.. and all the cans are the prominant things that happened to you in your life..your friends..achievements and failures, relatives, relations, influensive people and everything.. when the time comes to move forward i believe you need to leave those cans with your train..start searching for a new can.. finally it does not matter.. you look into the future and no where else...
In the words of Steve Jobs my inspiration "because its so hard if you dont have passion..if you dont love what you do..any rational person would give up..and they quit"

To all my friends: I love you all...you filled my past and I will always have beautiful memories.. down the line.. I am sorry if I had hurt you in any way..you all rock..

To my Family: I love you mom, dad, sis and granma.. you have been there with me to support me in every step and I will do my best not to let you down..

So close...yet so far...

2007-11-21T19:14:00.000-08:00

Where everything you want...
where everything you need...
will always stay right beside..
Yet how you feel, its million miles away...

And you go a million miles...how far did you get??
To the place you cant remember, yet cant forget..
only to know what you think you want..
is not there, was never there before.

Little do you know..what "the other" feel
how much do you care?? how far you can get..
that close you become...seems a million miles away....
its still right beside..right beside...

Valentine…wher r u??

2007-11-06T18:53:00.000-08:00

February 16th, 2007

this is one of my old blog...

Well well well….the so called ‘D’ just passed by… yeah for all of you guys reading this blog u knw whats valentine’s day is all about…may not be the right information but atleast you know its special… for many of us its jus another day… and to a quite a few of us its the ‘D’ day… the day u toss a coin and look for only one answer…well probability is always both sides….the most stupidest thing of all is a few ppl think that is the end of life…

well… Is it?? Is it really the end of life…i am sure everyone might have felt like killing yourself at least once…atleast once….u feel like u jus cant live with rejection…dissapointment…negligence…and without your love of your life….

i am sure most of us will have some kind of relevence with those words above… think again… . . .

But how many have realised that this is not the end of the world.. nor the end of the fucking day man…u still have a loong way ahead… well these are those words from your close ones when you do something so stupid…i am not one of them….am i?? so i aint going to tell you any of such things…

so what does he want?? i knw thats the question…. well.. i want to tell all of you guys that… enjoi life its full of different feelings…those whcih u want to express but never did nor will do in future…those feeling which u want to hide but never could nor can… feelings and pain in the heart which made it so damn heavy that u jus went to a corner and cried and feelings which you thought over and over and felt happy and light…feelings which u smiled all alone and never told anyone whats its all about…feelings u jus blushed and dropped a tear from ur eye..precious moments never comes again…whether in the company of friends or family or your only (many times only) love…or your Nth girlfriend or boyfried…or your gay or lesbian….where ever you are…in the park…in college…at home…at gym..at work..on bed..watching tv…or any damn corner of earth…enjoi every moment of your life….

coming to the one and only love…i wld say its the one who accepts you as you are… what ever you are…a dumb asshole or a romeo or an bookworm or the great architect of the year…one has to accept as you are…u dont have to change for someone cos u cant…remember the first one…”somethings can’t change” …so what ever you are…even if you are a load of bull shit…one who accpet you as the same..is the one and only love…. and beleive me…its not easy…because you jus cant accept who you are for yourself…so someone else accepting it is not easy buddy….remember its also the same way form your end…u got to accept who the other person…..

hope you all enoied your valentines day…with ur right love or your Nth GF or BF… and for all those who had spend times all alone…try and try until you fail…those who have failed and were dejected… well… look for your new valentine…

gud luck guys… may you all have fun everynight…i knw mornigs r kinda busy…

Imagine…

2007-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

February 3rd, 2007

This ia also an old back...

Imagine..just be alone and imagine…Imagine that u r away from all the things u do it every day…all ur routine work..all ur busy days..away from all of these for a few days..or hours..just stay for ur self…

how many of us really live for our own happiness…say …none in fact..i jus cant get anyone i knw..who says i dont care a damn abt anyone…but imagine u really dont care about anyone around you..jus be silent and try not to do all those things u would normally do…out of normality…

Yeah hows it?? did u imagine..can u change it..i dont think so..well i knw no one can change it…thats where i am taking you to the title …. Somethings in this world can’t change….

yeah its true..they jus can’t change..the way u dress normally…well i am a guy.. i didn’t see a girl dressing…so wont talk abt it….what one does every day he will do it the same way…first put on his undies..then a shirt and then the trousers etc..or any other way..but if u ask him to put his shirt on first and he is not used to it..he is messing it up…can’t do it..cos u r used to one way..

Imagine ur on top of ur world..the most happiest person on earth… u got everything u want..u wish a big flat in middle of the biggest city…and u have a Lexus or rolls royce.. and u wish for all u wnat to eat…icecreams..all kinds of food..u wish u have a girl or guy and jus does what ever u want him or her to do… u wish it..u get i t…and in a fraction of second u wish u were never born…jus imagine….u dont exist..frustated???

so r u back in to this world….kewl…now imagine that the world is not urs and u r moving out into the exterior.. space…u meet some alien and it shows u that u r one of them… and u dont belong to this earth..imagine…

keep imgining things and u live happily..for ever after… u wish ur girlfried was never there..jus imagine she is not here… u want to sleep with someothers wife/husband…jus imagine that u did and feel happy abt it.. there are many thing each of us want to do..wished that it happens to you every time u think…wants to change this damn world…cos its all full of fucked up ppl and the rotten system..wish u change it?? go back to the title…so imagine it changed…and all the things are there perfect and pictured as u wished it was…u r happy..r’nt u….so this is why i am always happy..cos i do care a lot and imagine that i did help everyone in every way…i jus imagine i am the head of the world and order Mr.Bush to fuck himself..and imagine he does it…and imagine laloo yadav ride on his buffalo all around the world…jus live in the imaginary world….

i am an IE…actuaclly its Industrial Engineering…but i call it Imaginary engineering…cos everything i study..we have so many imaginations…and assusmptions….

any ways…keep looking here..i have got a way to dump my thoughts…

NB:>this is my first blog so may be bad..but jus imagine its the best one…u feel better??